People around you are a reflection of yourself

Posted by on Oct 7, 2008 in Personal Development | 6 comments

I think it was Confucius that said ”Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbor’s roof when your own doorstep is unclean.” We so easily complain about things and people around us, but how often do we really look at ourselves with open eyes and heart. How often do we exercise some realistic self-contemplation and make an action plan to find the way to where we deep inside truly want to be?

A friend of mine reminded me a few days ago about who I used to be. I used to have goals and dreams for myself. Where are they now? Am I so content with where I am today that I no longer need goals? Have I fulfilled all my dreams and therefore I am not in need of new ones? I honestly don’t think so.

I have had to turn this matter over quite a bit in my mind lately. I’ve read books, spoken to people and most of all…I’ve done some thinking on my own. “Where am I today?” “Who am I?” “Where do I see myself in 5…10 years?” It may sound like a mid-life crisis but it’s actually not that bad. More like a wake-up call just in time. And I actually got back exactly what I threw out…

The reason why this even came up is because I told my friend about “the snow on his roof”, but in fact quickly got reminded of my own not very well swept doorstep. I simply have some cleaning up to do before I can even think about criticizing other people’s life. And even then, I shouldn’t criticize or condemn.

I think we have to keep on cleaning our own house all through our lives…and it will never be finished, there is always some new input into our lives that will give us reason to do spring-cleaning of our own back yard. Especially before we speak “wisely” about any person’s life but our own.

So, take care…and be nice! Don’t criticize, condemn or complain. Instant karma is not something to play around with…everything you project will come back to you – the people around you are merely a reflection of yourself.


Tess is a location independent Swedish emarketing tigress, and the founder of For the Love of SEO and owner of JoomlaTips. Follow Tess on Twitter: @tessneale / @joomlatips / @fortheloveofseo and Google Plus: Tess Neale


  1. very nice… I started going through a similar experience about 4 years ago – still on that journey.

  2. Words so true! Very nicely put.
    Always so easy to forget that the first sign of some needed “cleaning of our doorstep” is when we find ourselves complaining about others..
    What we see in others are indeed just what we see when we look in the mirror!

  3. Instant Karma… ;-)

    This is so true, whenever people are unsatisfied with their own life, they tend to critizise the lives of others. (I as well)

    I wonder why we are more capable of finding out the right paths for others than our own one?

    Kierkegaard wrote something about how we need to find our own truth and an idea to live and die for. That sounds great, but thinking about it too much can be really mind-wrecking.

    Sometimes, I think the meaning of life is just to really LIVE it, and to treat people nicely along the way and be happy about such small things as autumn colored leaves on the road. Just like that.

    Could it really be that simple?

  4. I really think it’s that easy Jennie – LIVE life! Focus on the small things in life – the autumn colored leaves on the road or water drops on your face when raining.

    Keep that feeling of happyness and bring it out again when you start feeling irritated with someone. Find love in your heart for everybody you meet. Be humble and think about why that person crossed your path in life – maybe there’s a lesson you need to learn..?

  5. pretty good stuff. we should always remember that its the people around us growing up and as we are grown up that predicts whether or not we are happy and successful. example your co-workers whether you like them or not reflect you as a person as well as your family and community also. just because a person is old does not mean that they are smart. many 18 yr olds are smarter than 45 yr olds and sometimes more mature. your life depends on whether or not you believe in the environment you are in if not you should rethink not only your job,friends, and community but your family as well.

  6. Here is my latest thought:
    “Your life is not about you, it’s about people around you”.

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